Eclipse Clarity, Open Windows, and Walking Away | A Social Work Reflection

The Window Was the Prayer

At the end of August, I wrote something on my window. Not in a journal, not in some manifestation app, but on my actual window where I'd have to look at it every day. Where I couldn't ignore it or forget about it or convince myself I didn't really mean it. I wrote it knowing that manifesting is real for me. I wrote it because the things that I ask for come true for me. I ask because I know that in addition to my own intention, voice, and writing, that the Sun and the Moon shipne in on this exact spot. And I want its light to come into contact with the very thing that I wrote for myself. This was important to me. This is my alter, this is my manifestation stage. I needed an anchor, something that I could put out there, and come back to when I needed to be grounded and reminded of what I needed.

I had just begun to accept that I was being pushed out of a situation that was never going to work for me. That the environment I was trying so hard to make work was not for me anymore. When I graduated, I was offered this job and I told myself that I had finally found a home, somewhere safe to truly land and let my serious system relax. What I had not known was that I had already outgrown the cage, even though I was still trying to stay small enough to fit inside it. I also, didn’t find out that it was a cage until I graduated, which is why it felt so safe. I had been decieved.

I didn't have clarity yet about what would come next, but I had enough courage to write down what I needed one night when I was in tears about the brutal reality I had just came to see clearly. After weeks of being pushed into psychological, emotional, mental, and professional warfare by a space I poured my all into, I was forced to figure out what I needed, and I wrote that down in chalkboard ink on my patio door.

I will be invited into the spaces I belong in with open arms and enthusiasm for my value and who I am. I am going to have more work opportunities than I know what to do with. I will have to decide what is best for me. This journey I am on is abundant. I will be tended to, cared for, and poured into by the universe through the doors I create and open. So it shall be.

I didn't write it because I was trying to convince myself it was possible. I wrote it because something deeper already knew it was true, even when my circumstances were telling a completely different story. I needed to get it out because I was in the middle of a flood that was carrying me away, and I needed to be able to if nothing else, put it out there.

When the Universe Responds

I wrote this the last week of August, and we were entering eclipse season. The Pisces full moon was coming on September 7, and everything in me was bracing for that energy. I was in fear, but wanted to be in preparation. I didn’t know what to prepare for when all of the systems I had created for myself were falling apart and I was drowning. My depression grabbed a hold of me, my emotions were drowning me, and I had nothing to grab onto. Everyday, I was struggling, and still moving forward because I had to. Little did I know, instead of trying to hold onto something, I needed to let go, swim with the current, and accept what was happening.

When I stopped resisting and swimming upstream, I rode the tide, and then the clearing came a response to the crisis I was in.

On Sunday evening, my body had a visceral reaction to the trauma caused by this position. I was in the ER at 2:30 PM. My blood pressure was 177/119, and I had an IV in my left arm. On Monday morning at 8AM, I sent the final email in response to a week of battles around seeking accommodations and trauma informed care. Who knew that asking a space to respect and care for one of their own clinicians would cause an upheaval and a self inflicted wound. The email made it official, closed the chapter, that said without apology, I'm done trying to make this work, you have pushed me to my limits and I have to protect myself. If you don’t want me here, fine. Any place that sends your body into the ER to restabilize is not a place you should be working, even for a check.

By 10:19AM, Monday Morning. I was offered a position I'd been hoping for months. Not the one I interviewed with the previous week that I KNEW would hire me on Monday, the one my body, soul, mind, emotions, finances, and entire being NEEDS. By 4PM, I got another offer from the place I had interviewed with the week before, the one I was expecting to hear from.

At 5:06PM, I got a call for an interview at a clinic I had once received services from, knowing even then that I wanted to come back someday as a provider, not a client. They were calling me, as a manifestation of a previous manifestation that I put in pace for this very moment. It was being brought back to me full circle. I knew it, and at the same time I couldn’t believe that this was happening. Not because my manifestations dont work, but because it was proof that they do. Two years later, here it was, as a new offering, and I accepted.

Three opportunities. In one day. Within hours of finally walking away from what was draining me.

What I'm Learning About Timing

It wasn't just the speed of the response that caught my attention. It was the way the moment revealed itself with such clarity. The order of things. The way the universe didn't hesitate to move once I stopped negotiating with spaces that didn't value what I bring.

There's something in the recent astrology that speaks to this, "This is also a good window of time to reflect on the lessons learned, the growth achieved, and what you have been able to manifest in your life. It is not always about chasing what needs to improve. Sometimes acknowledging how far you have come... is a way to honor yourself in this process." (The Power Path)

That's what this reflection is about. Not trying to extract a lesson or create a how-to guide, but simply acknowledging what happened. How writing those words on my window in the last week of August, when I was still in the thick of uncertainty, somehow held space for what was coming.

How the things I wrote down with no evidence they were possible became real faster than I expected once I made room for them by removing what was blocking them. I read this at the end of my day, while the full moon shone into my living room window, with the quote glaring back at me, as an anchor and reminder of what now is.

The Power of Getting Specific

That writing on the window wasn't vague hope or generic positive thinking. It was specific. It named exactly what I needed, to be wanted, to have options, to be valued for who I am rather than who I could pretend to be. It wasn't asking for rescue or for things to magically get easier without effort on my part. I was clear with the universe that I had done my part, that I had faith, prayer, a vision, executed, and even endured far beyond my capacity. If I am being honest, I cursed at the universe. I reminded it that I was one of the people who did not want to wake up and continue to endure, that I did not want to be here doing this, so that if it wanted me to get through, it needed to do its part.

I was declaring what I deserved and what I was willing to create space for. And then I did the hard work of actually creating that space by walking away from situations that couldn't provide it, even though it left me in a contradictory space of fear and faith.

I think that's the piece that gets missed in a lot of manifestation talk. The writing down what you want is only part of it. The other part is being willing to remove the obstacles to receiving it, even when those obstacles look like security or stability or the approval of people you want to respect you. I could not afford to walk away from this position. I did not pay rent the month of September and had no prospects. I was reminded by those that loved me that “I NEEDED THIS JOB UNTIL I FOUND ANOTHER ONE.” After all, it’s “easier to get a job if you already have one.” However, that job put me in the emergency room with stoke/heartattack level blood pressure.

Now I'm sitting with more options than I know what to do with, exactly like I wrote on that window. I found out August 2025 that I have Autism 1. I also have severe ADHD, and a plethora of other gems for Diagnosis. I thought this would make working in systems easier. I now had the diagnosis, and the wording to be understood and supported. I was wrong. In the wrong spaces, this still won’t matter. During my interviews with these spaces, I unmasked, and I was my full self. Because the next spaces that I went into, needed to respond properly to who I am upfront. If they were going to hire me, it would be because they saw my full self during the interview.

What's become clear is how much energy I was spending trying to make broken situations work because of my Social Work heart, and degree. There was so much of myself I was editing and managing and compressing to fit into spaces that were fundamentally misaligned with my values and my way of being in the world.

The opportunities that showed up aren't asking me to be different than I am. They're not requiring me to dim my directness or soften my clarity or pretend that obvious problems don't exist. They're spaces where the things that made me "difficult" in previous environments are being recognized as strengths.

That's what aligned timing feels like. Not just getting what you asked for, but getting it in ways that honor who you actually are rather than who you think you should be to be in spaces that are not aligned with your true self.

For Anyone Still Writing on Windows

If you're in the middle of your own version of this, whatever your particular cage looks like, maybe this is the reminder that you don't have to pretend you're not ready for something better. The world will convince you to accept for less because it’s not ready to show up better. You don't have to prove your worth by staying in situations that consistently undervalue you, but give yourself grace if you have no choice but to endure until you can find something different. You don't have to wait for permission to believe you deserve more than what you're currently experiencing.

Write the thing. Say it out loud. Put it somewhere you can't ignore it. Be specific about what you need, not just what you think you can realistically expect.

It doesn't have to be perfect or polished or even fully believable when you write it. It just has to be honest about what you actually want, underneath all the reasons you've been telling yourself why you can't have it.

Because when it's honest, it creates space. And when there's space, things can move in ways that surprise you with their speed and their rightness.

That window held everything I wrote on it until I was ready to receive it. Sometimes that's all the faith you need, just enough to write it down and leave it where you can see it, even when you don't know how it's going to happen.

The how isn't your job. The asking is. And then the making space for the answer when it comes.